i think my tv is drunk
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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