Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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