People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
As shirtless as possible
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
