i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
