i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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