I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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