Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
