he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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