Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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