I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
