I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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