his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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