Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize
