I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
