just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
