You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Farmville is her only friend.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
