The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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