what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
