p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
