Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
