so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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