During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
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