Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
