She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
