Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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