Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
