I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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