you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Naked Twister starts at high noon
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
