It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
