ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
