omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
