Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
