Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
