New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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