Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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