what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
