Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
