She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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