No stitches, just platelets and will power
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So much rum. So many feels.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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