I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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