He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
