butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
