This dress was meant to end up on your floor
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
