So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
