I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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