so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
