He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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