their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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