CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
