Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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