It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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