Rock
Scissors
Fuck
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
